THE SMILING ASSASSIN

The eyes might no longer roll menacingly at the opponent. The lips might not burst into sudden smiles at the oddest of moments. But the enigma of Muralitharan will remain unmatched in the history of cricket.

Starting his career as a 20 year old kid off the blocks in 1992, Murali grew from strength to strength in his first 3 years of international cricket. By the end of 1995 he had 80 test wickets from 22 tests which, ironically, made him the highest wicket taker for Sri Lanka. That has been a baton which he has refused to let go of till date! But the thorns amidst the roses were just about to show up. The MCG Boxing Day test in 1995 was a turning point in Murali’s career for more than one reason. He was ‘No-Balled’ seven times inside 3 overs by the Australian Umpire Darrell Hair for ‘Chucking’ which bought a new twist to his career. But more than the controversy, it was the support shown by his Captain Ranatunga that gave young Murali the impetus to continue against all odds. After repeated ‘No- Balling’ and associated snowballing by the Australian media, he decided never to play a series again in the country, a decision which he was forced to alter only once for the historic ‘Warne-Muralitharan’ Trophy in 2007.

It was in the year 1996 that this diminutive spinner announced his arrival onto the big stage. He was a strong presence in the world cup winning Sri Lankan outfit led by the Belligerent Ranatunga. With a decisive spell in the final (figures of 1/31 belied the guile he showed in that spell), he was instrumental in leading Sri Lanka to the cup of joy. Post world cup, things were never the same for any batsman playing against Sri Lanka. Every one of them was told to be aware of this freakish off spinner who can turn the ball on any surface ranging from concrete to glass. English batsmen learned their lesson the hard way in a test match at the Oval in 1998 when Muralitharan went on to pick up 16 wickets in the test, 9 of them coming in the second innings. The lone batsman not falling into Murali’s trap was actually run out, thus saving his team the ignominy of losing all their wickets to a single bowler (Though Pakistan managed to bring that shame onto themselves a year later when they found a certain Mr. Kumble too hot to handle). Thus rose the legend of Murali. That Oval test was a precursor to the imminent terror awaiting batsmen around the world. That test kick started a fantasy ride in Murali’s career. He went on to bamboozle the best of batsmen with his unorthodox, yet unbelievably effective version of spin bowling. Records were broken like chinaware teetering on the edge of shelves. A five wicket haul in an innings- something which was thought of as a milestone in a bowler’s kitty- became a pedestrian bypass for this magician while ten wicket match hauls were frequented once every fifth match; all this happened while he gave nothing away in terms of runs. One Day Internationals were no different. While the overs were limited and the conditions were loaded against bowlers, he had only one goal- to pick up wickets. And pick up he did…515 of them in a career spanning 17 years and 4 world cups.

Now, just at the brink of his ‘would have been’ fifth world cup, he has decided rest those flexed fingers of his for good. Batsmen all over the world would be breathing sighs of relief, some would even be letting out whoops of joy, but each and every one of them will feel disappointed that they would no longer be facing the biggest challenge of their batting careers.

In so many years of cricket there has not been a single spinner other than Murali to have terrorized batsmen with his tweaking. Terrorizing has always been a term limited to fast bowlers. Spinners were classy. They confused batsmen. They bamboozled tail enders. But none ever created the kind of terror that Murali did with those big, round eyes and that killer smile, not to forget that dreaded side-stepped run up or the prodigious turn he produced. When those fingers and wrists of his released the ball many of us could actually picturise the image with a whizzing sound in our ears. Such was the sorcery he managed to perform with the cherry.

So, as he decides to give a break to all the batsmen, the cricketing world is all set to let go of an era. An era which will leave an indelible mark on the annals of cricket’s rich history.

The Smiling Assassin has decided to unload his gun. In 4 more days he will cock it for the last time.

RAAVANAN- Questions to the doubters

By the time I write this everything would have been said and done about Mani Ratnam’s modern epic. So before I start here goes. This is not a review by any means. People have done too much of that already; some of them justifiable, most of them done just for the sake of it. So let me try and answer a few complaints against Raavanan.

1. Lack of Storyline: This one is indeed an LOL. For those stalwarts who came out with such a complaint, I have only one advice. Before searching for a storyline in Raavanan why don’t you try and read a great Indian epic called ‘RAMAYANA’? You will be surprised!

2. Same old Cliché in the name of screenplay: Mani Ratnam is the man who gave us Alaipaayuthae. Remember? The film with such brilliant intertwining of the past and the present and the trend setter in non linear screen writing among Indian films! He is the man who gave us Aayitha Ezhuthu; Another trend setter simply for the use of a single scene from different perspectives to tell different, albeit, interconnected stories. Isn’t he allowed to tell a story using the well trodden present- flashback- present mode for once? As for the charges about the deadening pace of the screenplay, where was the promise of a racy one on the first hand?

3. Lack of depth in Ash-Prithvi Romance: What does the title ‘Raavanan’ suggest? Did it give any ideas that there will be a generous dose of romance between Ash and Prithvi? It screams out with clarity as to who the protagonist is. So why should there be depth and detail in the romance of Ash and Prithvi? Isn’t the fact that Ash is Prithvi’s wife reason enough for him to go in search of her? Why should there be proof of their love or romance in the form of a lengthy flashback replete with cheesy scenes?

4. Poor Characterization (Ranjitha, Vayyapuri, Karthik): How many of us have seen Vayyapuri in films these days? Is he a mainstream comedian who has been handed the ignominious role of a eunuch thereby bringing disrepute to his stature? Would there have been a complaint if a real eunuch had played the same role instead? Just because we know Vayyapuri we feel that his character lacks definition. Same goes in case of Ranjitha. The role essayed by Ranjitha could have been essayed by any amateur. The fact that it was a famous face led to this complaint. And we all know how Ranjitha became famous!! As for Karthik, he himself stated in a recent interview that the offer to act in Raavanan was like a lease of life for him to force himself away from his confused career path and drug inflicted past. And he did bring in a few laughs mind you!!

5. Mani’s Confusion about the good and the evil: Sorry people. Mani is very clear about who is good and who is evil. As a matter of fact he shows it in the film itself. The Tirunelveli tribes follow Veerayya as if he were a Messiah. For them he is a do gooder. The police are the evil. On the other hand, in the eyes of the police force, Veerayya is an accused and Dev, who is a dutiful police officer, is the divine incarnate. The simple concept behind this is that the definition of a person as good or evil depends upon an individual’s perspective. A person who is good in your eyes might be evil in someone else’s.

6. Mani Ratnam has failed to deliver: Well, when did he ever promise?

Watch Raavanan for what it is... An age old epic retold with never-before-seen splendiferous locales of India as its backdrop; A visual treat which takes your breath away, courtesy the magical lenses of Santosh Sivan; A Film boasting of a Million Dollar performance by the mercurial Vikram; A film that catches the rustic tunes of Indian Folk and brings it to your ears via the musical brilliance of A R Rahman.

Don't watch it for what you think it should have been.

CRICKET ROUND UP FOR THE MONTH- Every Pun intended and every insult accurately aimed.

Ending speculation about his indifference towards national duty and disinterest towards cricket, Yuvraj Singh, fresh from a 2 week holiday in the Caribbean, answered a volley of questions from the media. When a reporter asked whether he was pulling his weight in the team, Yuvraj was quick to retort.

“What do you mean pulling my weight? I am pulling more than my weight in the team. Didn’t you hear Kirsten mentioning it recently?” he shot back. When he was reminded that Kirsten was actually complaining that he was overweight, Yuvi was quick to answer. “Overweight? Me? After the amount of running and jogging I do? Have you seen my performances in the Ads for REVITAL? Do you know how many retakes they took for that shot in which I run on the treadmill? Here I am choosing even my Ads carefully so that I do not gain weight and some people start calling me overweight. It’s not fair”, he wined, but suddenly realizing he was no longer in Tequila Joe’s in St. Lucia, he returned to whining.

The disgraced Ex- IPL commissioner Lalit Modi has finally submitted his carefully worded reply to the charges thrust against him. “My reply is 15000 pages long”, a beaming Modi told media persons. When questioned about the necessity of such a long winded reply Modi was quick on his feet.

“You see, Shashank (Manohar) is a very impatient man. Till now he has not read any of the documents or bids related to the IPL (which all of you must know by now). He very rarely reads even the names of the members in the national squad. So, the idea behind this 15000 paged monster is to attack the man on his Achilles heel”, quipped Modi with a mischievous grin.

In news from the Pakistani camp, their captain Afridi has admitted that giving Ajmal the last over was a mistake. “Yes, it was a mistake in hindsight”, he said, biting his fingernails furiously for want of a ball. “But this has once again proved that Pakistan is the only team which can lose a match from any situation. That is also something of an achievement”, he said with a sheepish smile, opening the door for Rameez Raja to find more reasons to praise his national team on foreign television.

'TWILIGHT'ENMENT

A recent spurt of unnecessary communal riots near the place I live prompted me to write this. The story, though loosely based on the frequent feuds that occur here, is entirely fictional; especially its end...it can almost be categorized as a fantasy.

Maybe one day, this fantasy will come true...that day will see the 'twilight'enment in me and you...

The streets were bloody once again. Any local lad might have found this all too commonplace, but for Saif, who had set his foot on the soil of Krishnapura (or, Rizwanpur, as one half of its population stoutly declared) just two days back, it all seemed new; and scary.

Krishnapura, a small town on the shores of Mangalore, was a riot filled locality. Fight was as common as food in this multi communal non-entity. Whenever the soothing evening air got punctuated with hoarse cries of “Allah ke naam pe” or “Jai Shree Ram” the wisest thing one could do was to scamper into his house and shut the door. But, being new to this entire furor, Saif found himself suddenly in the middle of the street with a horde of menacing looking thugs advancing towards him, each of them in possession of a Thalwar, or, sword.

With a bout of apprehension he looked around for any means of escape. Unfortunately there were none. Every door was shut and the only way out was to run in the opposite direction as fast as his feet could muster. But he knew that he won’t last long against these hooligans if he decided to make a run for it. He had barely turned back when a long line of shadows fell before him. They had stopped.

“Oi!!” one of them shouted. “Are you a Hindu or a Musalmaan?”

Saif knew that there was no way he could answer that question correctly. His eyes searched the aggressors in front of him for any ‘religious’ clues. Nobody wore a tell-tale Kullah or a bright teeka which would have made things easier for him. He had to think of something fast. He looked ahead of the thugs.

He could see a row of beautiful banana trees, their broad leaves swaying with such uniformity that it gave the impression of a long wavy green blanket. Above this he could see a cluster of hazy white clouds being gently pushed about by intermittent winds. Above this, spread a scenic orange glow that could be brought to the sky only by the twilight sun. There lay the answer, before his very eyes. With a glint in them, he looked at his nemeses.

“I am an INDIAN”, he said proudly.

CRICKET BYTES- Just For Fun

The recent media hype about the waning popularity of tests and ODIs in India has irked the BCCI. A senior spokesperson today announced that this was absolutely false and as proof, he brought to notice the recent ODI and test match ticket sales in Eden Gardens, Kolkata. “The tickets sold out even before we opened the counter”, he said. That was, apparently, the reason why ticket counters were not opened to the public for these matches.

The recent bill passed in Pakistan which ordered all crows to be shot dead due to an alarming increase in the amount of droppings has been strongly rebuked by the All Pakistan Crow Association. They claim that the national cricket team, on its ongoing tour of Australia, has overtaken them by a fair margin as far as “droppings” were concerned.

IPL teams’ refusal to hire any Pakistani player for the 3^rd edition of the tournament has brought anger and disappointment to many people, the chief amongst them being Mr. Rameez Raja. Mr. Raja was furious about this lack of interest shown by IPL teams towards Pakistani players. “As a staunch act of support for my countrymen I publicly announce that I will be boycotting the 3rd edition of the IPL”, he asserted in a recent press conference. “I will reiterate this fact even more strongly during my commentary stint for the same”, he further added.

In domestic news, the under-22 match between Tamil Nadu and Karnataka saw a majestic innings played by a young TN batsman who was also involved in a bizarre incident during the course of his knock. Having reached his century he suddenly felt in his pockets and brought out a ‘Hot Wheels’ Car and pushed it along the ground towards the bowler. Later when asked the reason behind his behavior he replied shyly that he was “toying with the bowlers” causing our fellow commentator Ravi Shastri to beam happily.

Footnote: Totally inspired by ANAND RAMACHANDRAN, Of CRICINFO Page 2

FROM RIGHT ACROSS THE SKY...

VINNAI THAANDI VARUVAAYA...The interest that this music album has generated even before its release is phenomenal. The hype surrounding the ARR- GVM combination was given even more fuel by the composer himself when he openly stated that he felt at home and peaceful while composing for VTV. So, has the album lived up to the yearning of countless fans who took sarcastic digs at it with status messages such as “Vinnai Thaandi Varuvaaya… Nee Studio Thaandi Varuvaaya?”

Omana Pennae (Benny Dayal, Kalyani menon): The immediate attention catcher in this song is the mesmerizing use of Nadaswaram (has it been digitally modified?). Benny Dayal simply makes his voice flow with the instruments that at times there seems to be no distinguishing factors. Kalyani menon is another surprise package who renders the Malayalam classical bit in the song with awe inspiring beauty of voice. The last minute and a half of this number is sure to take you to your fantasy world where your “Omana” might be waiting for you.

Anbil Avan (Devan, Chinmayi): Chinmayi all the way in this one!! She is inimitable once again and simply eases away through the song. I think the song, at least in some parts like the chorus “Nee vaanavilaaga”, is influenced by Gautam Menon, in whose every movie there is inevitably such a fast, energetic number with a catchy chorus. Devan of ‘Smiyai’ fame makes a comeback with this song and makes full use of this “GOD” given opportunity. The clever use of the famous south Indian song “Aanandam Aanandam” in between suggests that the number is themed on a marriage ceremony.

Mannipaaya (A R Rahman, Shreya Ghoshal): Shreya haunts us with her lilting voice once again. The sadness in this song is easily felt, especially when Rahman starts singing. The number beautifully captures the pangs of guilt and sorrow between troubled lovers. The song will not top the charts for sure, but it might be the perfect foil to some intense visuals which can always be expected from Gautam.

Kannukkul(Naresh iyer): A potpourri of instruments (Violin, Guitar and brilliant percussions) coupled with an Energetic Naresh Iyer makes this number a worthwhile listen. But Rahman has nothing new to offer by way of this song, just plain enjoyable music.

Hosanna (Vijay prakash, Blaaze, Suzanne): The start of this one is a complete camouflage of what the song actually has in store. A slow start by Vijay prakash followed by some soulful humming by Suzanne gives the feel of a magical melody. But what follows is not exactly a melody, but indeed magical. Vijay gets into his usual verve to give a cracking start. Blaaze, of course, ‘hip-hops’ his way to steal the limelight of this sure shot chartbuster. The inspirational traces of Rahman’s Multi-lingual song ‘One Love’ is easily evident in this number, especially the female humming part.

Aaromalae (Alphonse): The innovative genius of a musical prodigy is written all over this number. What can be said except “Wow!!” Hard Rock Music meets Kerala Back Waters and is interspersed with mind stirring chants of Sanskrit Verses. When the chorus “Swasti Swasti Sumuhurtham” starts, just close your eyes, let the music fill your head and feel the hair on your hands raise in acknowledgement of a ‘once in a lifetime’ musician filling your earthly life with heavenly interruptions in the form of his albums. When the song ends you will be in that curious state of exhilaration coupled with disappointment; the former for having listened to a mind boggling number and the latter for the fact that it has come to an end.

VERDICT: When all you faithful Rahman fans listen to his latest offering for the first time, you are sure to have a puzzled expression on your face. There will be a hint of smile when you listen to it for the second time. But, trust me, when you will eventually attempt a third listen (which any faithful Rahman fan is sure to do) you will be ecstatic, for such music does indeed come from right across the sky…Vinnai Thaandi…

HAPPY 'BLUE' YEAR!!!

A bright and blue day heralded the New Year for all, save a few fanatic Indian Cricket lovers like me. The truth of the matter is we have seen too much of 'blue' in the past few months. BCCI is partly to blame for the colour fiasco, but wholly to blame for the appalling schedule of tournaments. Given the rate at which India and Sri lanka have been playing cricket against each other, it will not be long before both teams decide to blindfold themselves and test the extent of familiarity bred into them. You can already feel the lack of zing in the ongoing tri series. Lanka and India are already bored of each other; to them add the 'flash in the pan' Bangladesh and you end up with a perfect lullaby of a tournament. It is no wonder players complain of fatigue. Scheduling of such unwanted tournaments not only create physical fatigue but also mental boredom for them. One can now see the shrewd cricketing acumen of Sachin Tendulkar who opted himself out of this tedium. BCCI should take a cue from him and stop scheduling such redundant tours in the future.

Speaking of the future, Indian Cricketing year getting off to such a dull start in 2010 will in no way dampen the spirits of the cricket crazy nation. Those who, like me, are fed up of watching dark blue vs shining blue can sit back and rub their hands in anticipation of a series which can now be called The Pinnacle . Yes, the top two teams of the world will lock horns in about a month and for the first time in many years none of the two spots belong to Australia. When India and South Africa clash later next month the fever will be back and buzz will start afresh... as for now we shall have to wait patiently for our 'blues' to end.