Sunday, January 9, 2011


A friend of mine working as a waiter in the IPL 2011 auctions Bangalore managed to tap a few conversations happening in the franchise tables. I present to you a transcript of the same. A warning to all readers – These snippets are purely hear and say and not as authentic as Radia tapes and also, only the franchise table is divulged by different tapes and the speakers are not known…

TAPE 1 – Kochi

Hey! Let’s buy him. How much is he worth?
“No Idea Dude! Wait I will call Shashi…”
“Ok. Till then I’ll just be competitive in the bidding…”

After sometime…

“Hey! Shashi told he’s good. We can go up to $500K for him…What’s this? Where did he go?”
“Chill buddy! We bought him. Apparently when I tried to be competitive everyone else stopped competing”

“Hey! I like that guy. Can we buy him?”
“No dude! He’s the auctioner…”

End of Tape

Tape 2 – Mumbai Indians

“Hey! Don’t keep nudging my hands. I know when to raise them”
“It’s not that madam. Last time also when they asked who wanted tea you raised your paddle and we ended up paying $100,000 for Green Tea with lemon…”
“Err. Ok ok! At least prompt me discreetly ok?”

End of Tape

Tape 3 – Royal Challengers Bangalore
“Dad! Chill! Keep a check ok? I have promised Deepika a Ruby encrusted Emerald embedded Diamond laced Platinum necklace.”
“What??? But Why?
“Well. She’s been supporting me through my rises and falls…Mostly Rises (Sly chuckle…)”

End of Tape

Tape 4 – Chennai Supekings

“Fool! Why did you raise your paddle?”
“Oh No! But I only had an itch in my armpit”
“Idiot! See now nobody is bidding. That’s it…Sold. Now we are stuck with Wriddhiman Saha. Damn!”

End of Tape

Tape 5 – Rajasthan Royals

“Hey lets buy Dravid. He is ‘the wall’ right?”
“Yes madam. But he is not much suited for T20.”
“What’s that?”
“T20! That’s IPL’s Format madam. 20 overs per team.”
“Oh. Right! But come on guys. That day I saw in highlights. He kept batting for one full day. No one could get him out”
“That’s test cricket madam. In t20 you need to be aggressive and hit boundaries.”
“What’s that?”
“Boundaries madam! Fours!”
“Oh! So you mean to say Dravid doesn’t have much Force and is too soft?”
“Not Force madam! Fours! That thing which happens when the ball crosses the ropes…”
“Oh! Ok ok…”

End of Tape