Doctors!!!

“Do we really have to go??” pleaded the eyes…

While the mind contemplated potential lies.

The horrific path to hell seemed just ahead…

Unknown was another place causing such dread.

It is believed that God lessens Fear…

What has one to do to make him hear??

Alas! Came the view of the door wide open…

Sat the white coated monster with eyes of hopen.

As he brandished his needle like a polished knife…

The shorts were lowered, apprehension rife.

Eyes shut, teeth clenched all for one small prick…

Oh lord what did I do? Other than becoming sick!!!

There are so many individuals one gets to meet at a very young age. A 2 or 3 year old kid is always flaunted about by his parents in their society, hence it is difficult not to fall in love with the cherubic face and antics that demand an encore. On the other hand, the kid might not reciprocate to each and everyone…he might instantly hit it off with some while remain apprehensive of others. But if there is one individual that a kid fears, its got to be the DOCTOR.

What is it that prompts the notion of A Doctor being a Villain into the kid’s mind? The main reason, of course, has got to be the injection. When a child first enters the clinic he might get awed by the aristocratic set up and might find the man in the white coat to be gentle. When the cold metal of the stethoscope touches his tender heart, he might feel a tad concerned about it. But as soon as the injection comes to view, the doctor becomes an assassin with the injection somehow transforming into a revolver or knife in the mind’s eye of the child. In a trice the villain is born.

At least many doctors nowadays have a reassuring smile on their faces while handling the “weapon”. But this again might be a drawback. The smile which seemingly is reassuring in their opinion might look like a sinister one to the kid. A smile nonetheless is a far better attempt than a serious face. I used to visit a doctor when I was four or five years old. He never wasted time to pick up that dreaded needle; and to make matters worse he had an absolutely morbid face that made me sure that I was going to die each time I went there (of course being a very reclusive child I didn’t give the opportunity to him or to my parents to allay my fear).

Maybe the doctors should start thinking about fancy colourful looking injections. Maybe an injection which looks like a chocolate bar with a tip from which gooey syrup drips. Ah! The look on the child’s face will say it all. He will absolutely want to have the injection…not on his bottom but right into his mouth!!!

Its Free my friends!!!

Being jobless at home has its own share of rewards and spoils. Everything is rooted to one word- FREE. There is Free Food (Of course parents pay for it, but the intake of food is in no way balanced with the deservedness for it, so it has got to be free!!), there is also Free time (too much of it for comfort ). With that ends the rewards part of it. The spoils part of it comes when you get Free Advice. Elders expect you to talk with them at least once in 3 days. As long as it was college life there was something substantial to be said about your day…I had a nice day, attended labs, proceeded on my project, played cricket with friends etc. But now this is how the conversation goes…

E: How are you jagan?

J: I am fine, thank you.

E: So, what are you doing these days?

J: Hmmm, nothing much…sitting at home…(pause)

E: (pause)(pause)(pause)

J: (pause)(pause)

That’s when the familiar rant of advice starts. “please chant the Gayathri mantra. As you will be having free time why don’t you do Sandyavandanam? Go to the temple everyday and pray…good news will surely knock on your doors soon.”

This gayathri mantra has always aroused the curiosity in me. I have heard many people say that chanting it will increase your memory power. Well, how will chanting a 5 lined verse have an impact on your memory? Chanting a hundred page hymn everyday…now that’s at least something. Having said that, 4 years mugging of 100s of volumes of texts hasn’t made that positive an impact on your memory.

Next comes this ritual of praying in the temple. Well this, I feel is even more useless than attending the recruitment tests with thousands of competitors. In these tests one might be in queue with more than five thousand candidates ahead of him. But when praying to god in a temple, you don’t even know the status of your plea. Your plea might only come to process after a year or so, what with half the people in the world forwarding similar pleas everyday, god is the busiest existing solicitor (did I say existing?? Ok, lets not branch out into that raging debate!!!).

In the current state of affairs, more than god, it is the recruiting officers who should hear our prayers. As for the “sandyavandanam” part, I don’t even want to start on it.

In this money-driven crazy society, advice is the only matter which comes free of cost. Maybe people at the receiving end should start charging for it… “Welcome to 9444850576. All your incoming advices are chargeable. The customer wishes you a pleasant conversation and uninterrupted listening. Have a good day.”

Warning: Just for (f)pun... Weak Hearted don't read!!!

The time has come for us to part… This world has been a facilitative friend so far. The day is not far off when it is going to become a ferocious fiend. When the longest Solar eclipse in the history of History eclipses all our lives tomorrow, believing people will pray, non-believers will remain stoic while skeptics like me will remain undecided. When the gentle waves that lap your legs in the beach become roaring monsters which swallow you as a whole, do not think about life, do not think about death, for what is death but a continuation of life?? What is life without death? Death is a proof that you played an active part in the biological ramifications of the world. When you read this blog and prepare yourself for nether world, think of the contributions you made, not the opportunities you missed, think of the goals you achieved, not the holes into which you fell, lastly think of bliss, may your soul be blessed…

Note: Please continue to follow this page if we stay alive after tomorrow

He was never a wannabe!!!

About a week ago I made an impulsive decision to abstain from posting cricket related issues in my blog at least for the next few months. (Un)fortunately I am finding it difficult to abide by that rash resolution. There is so much going on in the cricketing world; The Ashes, The West Indies contract dispute, Pakistan’s Test debacle in Lanka. Despite all this, it’s not a cricketer or a cricket match which has made me break the resolve. In fact, it is a reality show in which a publicity craving individual let slip a few choice words for some media attention. Yes of course, Vinod Kambli. The reason for my referring to him as a non-cricketer will now be quite obvious.

The prime quality expected in a cricketer playing for an international team is self-motivation. Cricket was well into its Glitz-ridden era when kambli padded up for India, so he should have known this basic necessity which should stem at the roots of a cricketer. Sadly, kambli didn’t grasp this basic fact which is evident from his career graph. On comparing the kind of starts that Sachin and Kambli had to their respective careers, it becomes quite palpable as to who got a head-start. With 2 consecutive double hundreds under his belt Kambli should have more or less cemented his place in the Indian side for a long, long time. Ganguly’s career can be taken up as a parallel comparison. He got 2 consecutive centuries and completed a successful albeit controversy ridden tenure of more than a decade in international cricket. The main reason for this…self-motivation. What Kambli did have which made up for his lack of self-motivation was talent, in abundance. People used to compare him to Brian lara, in fact he was referred to as the Indian Lara. But talent alone will take you only to the doorstep of success. It is motivation that sustains you there. Kambli’s act of shedding tears in public after the dramatic semi final loss in the ’96 world cup against sri lanka showed that he was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve…another undesirable quality for a cricketer.

Despite kambli’s abysmal decline of form and stature, Sachin made sure that he was given one last opportunity. When Sachin became the captain it was he who stood behind kambli and backed him. This, I feel, is the only move that comes anyway close to unethical in Sachin’s glorious career. But again, Captains with preferences are not uncommon even from olden days. Kambli didn’t show even the slightest amount of fire in his belly during his supposed “resurrection.”

A decade has gone by now where kambli has dabbed his hands in the showbiz and entertainment world. Just when he seemed to have become a ghost to the cricketing world, he has now thrown a sucker punch at his long standing mate via a reality show , revealing that sachin did not encourage or motivate him enough in his career. The irrational, angry part of my mind comes up with 3 words in response to this…”Load of Crap.” The rational part of my mind?? For once it agrees with the irrational part!!!

Random thoughts (Based on happenings)

Gifts

In a recently viewed marriage video, every second person who came to wish the couple had an identical gift to offer…A Flower Bouquet. It is true that the inclination for giving a gift is far more important than the gift itself, but come on, cant people cogitate better than bouquets?? The life of a flower is hardly 12 hours, however beautiful it looks or smells. What good does a bouquet do? Ok, it’s a symbol of love, peace blah blah blah… but at the end of the day where does it end up?? No prizes for guessing that… and a thousand sorrys to you if you are a bouquet giver…

Courtesy

There was this guy sitting next to me on the train who exchanged pleasantries with me. With a tedious six hour journey ahead, he decided that getting to know a stranger would be a good pass time and I happened to be one. He wheedled out a whole lot of information from me…my native place, school, college, the course I pursued and the company I got placed. I don’t know what made me do it, but I told him that my company would not call me in the near future and that I was trying for a core job. I should have shut my mouth with that, but no; I went on about how these off campus recruitments and PSU jobs were hopeless and farcical. There came a rejoinder from him that something is bound to come up and I shouldn’t worry myself. Well, what would you call that? Courtesy, sympathy or whatever it is. I was hearing that statement from my relatives and friends only till then…now from a complete stranger who wouldn’t give two hoots about where I work or where I shit. What a really gentle place this world is becoming…sugar-coated words of comfort come out even from a complete nonentity!!! (If my co passenger happens to read this then I am making it clear that I am not referring to him but to the one sitting on the other side… If that almost improbable thing of both of them reading this post happens, then all I can say is… THANK YOU!!!)

Telepathy

This cab driver with whom I was traveling seemed to have various annals of knowledge in the layers of his mind. He categorically stated that in a few years the use of mobile phones will get outdated as the world will embrace telepathy. Yeah… it seems we can just send SMSes to our friends through our mind. Possessing a capricious mind, the guy was soon delving into the geographical secrets of the world when he triumphantly announced that a large enough hole drilled on any road in India will lead to USA!!! Well… did he stop with that?? Hell No!!! The rich Indian mythology was the next target as he revealed the present identity given to the anciently mythical underground world called “Pathaala loka”… its called USA now!!! After non stop enlightenment for 1 hour, the cab came to a stop at brigade road. “ please give your mobile number so that I can call and tell you where I have parked the vehicle”, said the well-versed cabbie. I was about to give it to him, but decided against it…” but of course you can intimate me with your all pervading telepathic mind”, was my reply, which left him sheepishly gaping at me and left me with a great sense of relief having avenged a one hour barrage of mind numbing nonsense.

Scapegoat returns for final rights!!!

Familiar faces were on view in the 30 man probables squad for champions trophy '09, save one. Rahul Dravid. The man has been in hibernation for almost 2 years now in ODIs and this sudden call must surprise each and everyone apart from the selectors.
On careful consideration, the reason for his inclusion becomes very obvious. The age old demon of short stuff has been rekindled from its grave to torment the indian middle order, and who better than The Wall to cope with nasty rip snorters. Oh you can keep showering accolades on Rohit and raina and gambhir...the young brigade which dismantles bowling attacks world over with consummate ease; but have they ever delivered in spicy conditions such as the one at lord's ? The notion that the trio has more than filled the shoes of dravid and ganguly is slowly coming a cropper, the simple reason being that both dravid and ganguly were quick to adapt to different conditions and pitches. Now with testing times for this indian middle order, it is imperative for them to adapt as quickly as possible.
The obvious long term solution for this resurfacing problem is to train the present bunch of batsmen with short stuff in similar conditions, but the selectors have opted for a short term solution...bring back the old war horse. oh.. you don't need dravid when the team is on a high, when everything they touch turns gold. Now, with a problem at hand, what do you do?? go back to the lamb which can be sacrificed again and again. The 2003 world cup memories come flooding back. That tournament saw dravid being used as a stop gap wicket keeper, he did an apreciable job...in fact it was very good as it came from a reluctant 'keeper. He showed then that he was a team man. the management knew that he was a scapegoat...so now, they have gone back to him. he will obviously be used till the young middle order comes to term with short pitched bowling. After that he is going to be unceremoniously dumped.
If suppose, the selectors do throw a second surprise by not including him in the final 15, then there is no plausible reason for his inclusion in th 30 list.
The only thing a cricket fan in me hopes for is the rebirth of dravid in such a way that he cannot be shown the door without credentials and respect. As for now, he remains a lamb ready with its neck bent on the altar.