Tuesday, July 5, 2011

GMMSCC - The Way Forward

It is that time of the year, again. Yes people, the time has come for us to say goodbye. We bid adieu with a heavy heart and resign ourselves to undergo that frustrating wait till April 2012, when we can rejoice once again. No, I am not talking about the IPL 2011 which came to an end two months ago (Though Chirayu Amin, whose full time job consists of sitting and yawning at cricket grounds for two months and plan for the succeeding year’s yawn session for the next ten months, might deny the very fact that the IPL 2011 has, in fact, concluded). I am talking about a far superior season than the IPL, Big Bash or, for humour’s sake, the SLPL. I am talking about the MANGO SEASON.

With the summer down to its last embers and monsoon accentuating its stronghold all over India, the Mango season (I turn yellow with fear every time I even think about it) has come to an end. Yes, the king of fruits is set take a nine month vacation and there seems to be no visible escape route from the perpetual torture of ‘Sweet Lime’ at least for the next ten months.

Mangoes bring us happiness, satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment every time we devour them. The realms of ecstasy we experience when we suck at the enormous mango seed till each and every drop of its pulp gets deposited into our digestive tract is something unrivaled. These are reasons enough for us to wish for perennial cultivation of mangoes and start an aggressive agitation called ‘Global Movement for Mango-Suited Climate Change’ with Jairam Ramesh at the helm and Baba Ramdev lending moral support. But there are some other prominent points which we have overlooked for a long time now. With my pointing out of those, I have a feeling that GMMSCC will gain massive foothold in the coming months.

Mangoes have always strived to transform little known people into famous personalities. I mean, would we have even known Kylie Minogue, the now famous Australian pop-star, if a variety of mango hadn’t been named after her? And don’t tell me you knew any Sheila other than ‘Sheila ki Jawaani’ before reports started flowing in that there was actually some Sheila dwelling in the capital city of Delhi and a variety of mango has been named after her and not Katrina Kaif! It turns out that she was the Chief Minister of Delhi. And though Aishwarya Rai’s case is a little different as she had already won some local beauty contest organized by the UK and by the virtue of that had become somewhat well-known, even she can’t deny the fact that she began to gain more and more popularity after a Mango-variety got named after her. Recently, she has been storming the news reports and bulletins of all media houses in the country. The fact of her being pregnant might have played a slight role in this but one can’t ignore the ‘Mango-Effect’. Now, there are strong rumours from RCR that extensive efforts are being put in to cultivate a variety of mango to be named after the Prime Minister of India in order to turn him into a famous personality. As per ‘closed-door rumours’, the first trial cultivation has yielded a bland, tasteless variety.

Mangoes are also the perfect companions for Single guys. They go through the never-ending struggle of trying to landing a girl friend day in and day out. But at least during the three months of the Mango Season they will have something similar to a girlfriend for company. Mangoes are, after all, sweet-smelling, nurturing, tender, smooth-skinned, delicious and supple.

Mangoes have also provided a significant contribution to the English Literature. It has metamorphosed one of the most complicated sentences in the English language. Instead of saying ‘The advanced anthropological evolution of a species of Australopithecus makes a retreating motion’ one can, now, simply say ‘Man goes’.

With such telling impacts it has on society it is high time we take up a cause in favour of Mangoes and popularize GMMSCC.

I might have sounded like a starry-eyed romantic ranting on about some silly fruit, but it would suffice to say that I am an ‘AAM AADMI’ after all. 

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